Wednesday, December 16, 2009

the criteria.

all those guys, who think they couldn't possibly be more clueless about girls, are wrong. here's some stuff to make realise that there is no such things as "can't be more clueless", you can always be.

this my friends, is the list of qualities required to date this girl i know.
they can be divided into a few categories.


male for now.
females have been ruled out purely due to lack of experience in that field.

(Assuming only male test subjects for further categories)

Physical Attributes
  • height over 5ft 10in
  • good looks (attempt were made to play this one down due to obvious to moral obligations. also, feminine faces are preferred. surprised? you aren't the only one)
  • well built chest (yes guys, we aren't the only ones who stare at chests)
  • well defined calf muscles (again guys, we aren't the only ones who check legs out)
  • a good, masculine voice (that's a new one for me too)

Mental Attributes
  • should be emotional
  • should not cry (the two sound contradictory? ask me bout it!)
  • should have tankers full of patience
  • should be intense (i don't even know what that means. my guess is that it means: creepy in a good way)
  • should have a prominent dark side (another way of saying, 'nice guys-hahaha, losers)
  • should have a very good taste in music (this one is the most important one of the mental attributes... yeah, kill me now)

(I) The lack of some of the above mentioned qualities can be overlooked if you are-
(a) a guitarist
(b) chace crawford
(c) a footballer

(II) The lack of ALL the above mentioned qualities can be overlooked if you are-
robert pattison

that's all i have in this segment of, "i don't know shit about women". see you later folks. good day!


  1. hmm... that was a really good one..

  2. Although I'm erased from the playing field on the first criterion alone- you're gonna have to work on atleast 4 or 5 points there.

    Lets buy a guitar.

  3. ummm
    @ creepy in a good way...

    it was hilarious :D

  4. Damn funny! Couldnt stop laughing..some disillusioned girl u got there..
    Also,"good, masculine voice (that's a new one for me too).." is that really so surprising? Girls gen dig rough voiced guys[upto some extent-no one wants a buffalo braying.]