my valentine.

it's valentine's day. today is the day for young lovers, or so i've heard. today, two people who love each other (or two people pretending to love each other so that they don't feel lonely and can get some action in the sack) put in considerable effort to tell their partner that they love them.

i can see people waking around looking. some looking at that lovely person by their side. some looking with hazy eyes at the happy looking people, thinking about old times. some just staring and being obscene. then there's me. i'm looking too. but this time, for the first time in my life, i'm not one of those people. i was never the first kind, never the second, always the third. but today i'm looking at the sky.

the thoughts in my mind surprise me. i feel a sinking feeling in my stomach. but this isn't the annual "valentine's day... good for you archie's. sigh...", its different. i want to be with my valentine. the person i love more than anyone else in the whole world. i want to hug her, kiss her. i want to rest my head in her lap and slowly fall asleep there.

it's 10am. she's probably reading the paper right now. having breakfast. having her cornflake-biscuit pudding. in half an hour, she'll probably be watching tv and within 10 minutes she'll be nodding off. then she'll wake up suddenly, carelessly brush aside the things on the bed, curl up into a ball and take her 5 minute nap. at this point i would give her a kiss on her cheek. i wish i could.

i miss you mom.

happy valentine's day.

daily life, daily pictures.

Crude, but effective.











All you can do is hope its not winter!












For me and my kind, "It's over man. Stop running and stop drooling. Just stop."









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NOTE:

These pictures were taken from a friend's facebook profile.

Thanks Sallu.

never again.

"this is madness."
"this is too much."
"this is weird."
"this is too much trouble."
"i'm never doing it again."
"this causes too much pain."
"this has messed up my life."
"this is the worst time in my life."

yet, he still does. we all do. if we don't, we sure wish we could.

we'll never understand this. i don't think we're supposed to understand, we are just supposed to do. and we do, do.

true story.

once upon a time there was a boy. he was 6 feet tall and considered himself a man. however, to the world, he was still a boy who had his habits. some good, some bad. one day, in the freezing cold, he decided that he needs to change. maybe it was the cold that gave him the crazy idea, maybe not. we'll never know. fuelled by his recent phase of unparalleled happiness, he made the tough decision.

with determination in every step, he went to his friend and asked him to lend him something that his friend hadn't used in a long time just like so many others around him. but this man-boy wanted be different.

he went to his own place of residence, and gathered the stuff he needed.

he reaches his destination. along the way many people look at him in amazement. respect visible in their eyes. some whispered that he wouldn't make it. but he did. he didn't turn and run.

once there, he took his place, hung his belongings. then with his friend's possession in his right hand, along with his own in the left he walked to the provider.

his worst fear had come true. not warm.. not warm.. the words echo in his head like a scream that wakes one up from a nightmare. he can't think for a moment. but soon, with all his strength he forces his trained mind to accept the fact that there would be no warmth to make his task easier.

he walks back to his belongings, secures his surroundings. takes his clothes off. he hesitates a little. then takes in one last breath of air...

and pours a mug full of cold water on his head. his insides scream for some warmth. but he has a bath. dries himself up. and goes back to his room. clean and proud.

true story.

repeat this course.

dope #1 "i think i'll repeat physics this sem."
dope #2 "i think i'll repeat bio this sem."
dope #1 "no, i think i'll go to iit this year."
dope #2 "i think i'll go to play football now.. oh hi girl. no i don't have plans! i can talk all day."

dope #3 who is writing this blog, "i really need to crap."

this is what the BITS cold does to you.

he prays.

he fumbles around with his key chain. it is a yellow ball suspended in liquid which is in another transparent ball. he tries to figure out which direction west is in. he gets up suddenly with a sense of determined nervousness, finds a compass and with his finger makes an impression on his bed's mattress. he picks up a tiny book and finds the right page. closes his eyes and he does something he had not done in two years and two months. he prays. and as he does, something deep inside someone sitting in the same room stirs, and he turns to look at those eyes and the peace in them. that is when he knows, it will happen when it has to. it will.

lonely boys in town.

two boys. two phones. two stories. two sighs. one college. one life. one blog. one post. one emotion. no hope.