Wednesday, September 29, 2010

the good boy.

Outsiders' inside:
The good boy. The mama's boy. The boy who does things right. The nice guy. The decent fellow, who was raised right. The apple of the eye.

Insider's inside:
A compulsion. A need to do right. The need to be the light in someone's dawn; to be the cotton candy in a fair on fire; to be the meth in a junkie's drawer; to be the right in all that wrong.

Outsiders' need:
Something to look at and feel hopeful. Someone to talk to and feel nice. Something to remind them of morality and make them think it's okay to be bad, there is some good in the world to take care of the rest.

Insider's need:
To do wrong. To be mean. To be an ass-hole. To be the motherfucking jackass he tries to despise. To be the one who doesn't give a shit about anything. The guy who wants to bang a redhead and go break something in the parking lot.

Outsiders' and insider's reality:
I'm working on it.


  1. firstly, good to see u back active....
    this is something I relate to, or for that matter everyone. What others see is not we are...and when this leads them to see u as an alien (not the one they are scared of but the one they respect..and just find different)....u despise the difference in reality .. and appearance..though its hard to let the inner-self just come out.

  2. 11 @ Insider's need ... is need the correct word? :D

  3. back with a bang :)
    word of wisdom: "working on it" doesnt help..itz the ultimate dilemma- to pick between wat u wanna be and wat u hav to tough choice at a time:) then again, life is a complex experiment.

  4. Really thought provoking. 'Cotton Candy in a fair on fire'- Genius!! 'To be the light in someone's dawn'- even better!!!

  5. reading this post was like taking a bullet shot.donno wer tht simile came from..but i will never forget this one piece:)

  6. It's great.Makes me think of sorta similar thought thread I had.. So many ppl see us in so many different perspectives. And they'd changed over the years- a lot. So, what indeed defines us? Our thoughts, needs, desires or a summation, even if somewhat negating, views or the outsiders?